HitsuKarin Forbidden Chapter10

Chapter 10

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*…* = thinking
"…" = speaking

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He'd lasted longer than Karin had expected. He'd finally passed out just before her house came into view and –with a lot of work on her part- she'd eventually managed to get him into the clinic and onto one of the beds. She'd been glad he was still unconscious when she checked his injuries because she didn't think she could have faced him with the blush which had covered her face at the sight of him shirtless.

He'd always been strong, his job demanded it, but now the proof was right before her- he seemed to be nothing but tightly-packed muscle within a small, lean body. A fresh, jagged slash ran across his torso- bright red against pale white- which she set to cleaning straight away. She had to stop the bleeding now or he might lose too much blood.

She worked quickly and efficiently, pushing her personal feelings away and forcing herself to see him as just another patient so that she could get the job done. It upset her to see him so beat-up, but she was relieved when she finished checking him over and had found no injuries more serious than the slash on his chest and a bump to his head. She didn't think it would be too much to worry about, but if he took too long to wake up she would take him to the hospital-just in case.

She sighed, flopping into an armchair across the room from his sleeping form to wait for him to wake up. She smothered a yawn; she was completely exhausted, she felt as though she hadn't sat down at all today. She'd been working in the clinic all morning, and then she'd been training at Urahara's, she'd ran to Tatsuki's and taught for over two hours and then she'd ran into Toushiro and the hollow.

She felt exhausted just thinking about it and before she knew it her eyes were beginning to slide shut. She curled up in the armchair and was asleep in seconds, her arms wrapped around herself as she slipped into her scarily familiar dream.

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A five year old Karin was sobbing quietly on the top step of the house, her surroundings familiar and yet so alien to her that it was soul-crushing. There was something wrong with the house; something was missing and she didn't know what. She craved the ability to be able to fix it, to be able to stop her sister's tears and her brother's flat expression.

She needed to protect them.

Next thing she knew, she had grown; she was now eleven and sat on the same step. But this time she did not let any tears fall; she held them back and kept her eyes focused on the door in front of her. She couldn't take her eyes away from it or she would never be able to stop Yuzu's muffled sobs when she thought Karin was asleep late at night or goat-face's attempts at cheering them both up when they knew he was as worried as they were.

She had to find her brother.

As she had so many times before; she felt a hand on her shoulder -warm and yet somehow ice-cold at the same time- soothing away her worries and allowing her to trust in her brother to come home, safe, on his own.

The hand left her and she didn't think about it for a while, she lived a happy life with her family back in one piece and her mother's memory always in the back of their minds. She thought it would stay like this -of course they would grow up and move away, raise their own families- but they started drifting apart again.

The loneliness was stifling; she missed them so much it hurt. But she still had to protect them- that was what she wanted to do with her life- protect her family so they could fulfil their dreams.

She told herself that was her dream, to protect not just her family and not just her friends, but to protect the entire town. To help it flourish without the threat of hollows hanging above it.

Then the world went black.

Light didn't return to her world, but she could feel another presence there with her- cold but warm as it embraced her, gentle arms wrapping around her as she inhaled the familiar scent. She didn't know how long they stayed like that for but she felt herself sinking closer to the other person, their bodies fitting together perfectly.

She felt the memory of a kiss to her lips and then another –softer, slower, but somehow desperate- to her forehead. The lips lingered, whispered something intelligible, and were gone. The arms unwrapped from around her, fingertips trailing down her arms before catching her own and trying to hold on. It felt as though they were pulled away and she felt the other presence fading into the distance.

She tried to follow but she still couldn't see, couldn't tell which way the other had gone and had no way of following it. She stood alone in the dark.

That was where the dream always ended, with her alone in the dark. Karin could feel herself pushing back to the surface but something grabbed her and dragged her back under, back into the terrifying blackness which she had fled from every night for almost four years.

Light flooded back to her eyes and a silhouette stood before her, reaching out to pull her in to familiar arms. She sighed, resting her chin on a solid shoulder as she buried her face in soft white hair. Lips tickled her ear and she couldn't help but giggle.

She pulled away to look into the sweet face she'd been waiting for and smiled. Fingertips reached up to wipe away tears she hadn't realised had been falling as he leaned forward to steal a kiss from her.

She smiled into his lips, this was what she wanted- he was what she wanted.

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Karin sat up, her eyes darting around the room after the sudden revelation within her dream. She looked over at the bed; even from there she could see the steady rise and fall of Toushiro's chest and no other movement. She sighed in relief; she didn't think she could face him for the first time in four years after having that dream.

She reached for the phone, intent on calling Urahara's shop to find out who was here with him and whether they could be any help at all with the question which had been eating away at her brain ever since she had found him, and she needed something to get her mind off of that dream. After dialling the number she waited for a reply and was greeted with a distressed (and loud) answer of "Captain?! Where are you?! What happened?!"

Eventually the voice on the other end of the phone calmed down enough for Karin to get a word in edgeways, "Toushiro's fine, but he got into a bit of a fight with a hollow. I brought him back to the clinic to make sure he was okay." She spoke calmly into the phone as she waited for the woman on the other end to explode into conversation again.

"Wait, clinic? The Kurosaki clinic?"

"Yeah…" Karin asked sceptically.

"So you must be Karin Kurosaki…" It sounded more like the woman was talking to herself than to Karin, as though she was trying to process a particularly difficult piece of information.

"Yes, I am. Do you want to come round and see him; he should be waking up soon…?" Karin asked, although really she just didn't want to be alone with Toushiro. Perhaps she could ask her why Toushiro was still in his gigai when she got there too…

"Yes, of course. I'll be there in a little while. Byeee." And with that cheerful note the other woman hung up.

"Bye then." Karin said sarcastically into the phone before hanging up her end as well. She sighed, sounded like this woman was going to be a handful.

She looked down at herself and shifted uncomfortably, her clothes were still damp from last night and they were starting to smell a bit. She walked up to her room to get changed before dropping into her brother's old bedroom to grab a new shirt for Toushiro, his old one was completely wrecked after yesterday. As she was wandering back down to the clinic her stomach rumbled, reminding her that she hadn't eaten since lunch-time yesterday.

She made herself a sandwich in the kitchen before continuing her walk to the clinic, wondering who the woman on the phone had actually been, she'd forgotten to ask whilst they were talking. Her musings were interrupted by a feminine voice coming from the clinic. She moved quickly and silently, reaching the door in seconds and peeking around the corner to try and find the intruder in her home.

It was a tall, red-headed woman dressed in a shinigami uniform. Karin thought she recognized her, *Oh, that's right! She's his lieutenant! She was with him when…* Her thought trailed off as her mind jumped back to the image of the two figures leaving through the gate in Urahara's basement. She shook her head to clear the image; there was no point in thinking about that now.

She moved into the room and came to stand across the bed from the red-haired vice-captain, her hands on her hips. "How did you get into my house?" She asked in a dangerously calm voice as she refused to move her eyes away from the older woman.

"Your brother gave us a key to the clinic. Just in case any of us ever needed emergency treatment and there was no other way to get it." She answered nervously. So, this was the woman her captain had fallen for, she was beginning to see why- she was absolutely terrifying and yet beautiful at the same time.

"Well, that explains how you got in. Now, why did you feel the need to break into my house instead of just knocking the door like a normal person?" Karin felt a little bad for being mean to the other woman, but she had to admit that it sort of felt like her personal space had been invaded by this woman- and she didn't like it.

"I was just…" She looked doubtfully down at the sleeping figure before her. "I was worried about him. He's been taking stupid risks lately; I was afraid he might have finally done himself in." She chuckled to herself "Although I should have known that a common hollow could never take down our captain." She sounded like a proud mother boasting about her child's achievements at school.

Karin couldn't help the small, sad smile which twitched onto her lips. For some reason she couldn't stay mad at this woman who obviously cared so much about Toushiro.
She placed the clean shirt down on the chair beside the bed and looked back up at the other woman with a smile on her face. "Would you mind helping me to check his injuries, there aren't too many of them so it should only take a few minutes. I just want to make sure the bleeding has stopped."

Matsumoto looked surprised at Karin's sudden change in attitude but smiled back at her,
"Yeah, of course."

They set to work, Matsumoto wasn't too surprised at her captain's wounds, she seen him take worse before. She did wince slightly at the slash across his chest, it looked as though it might leave a scar and she knew that -unlike some of the other lieutenants and captains- he didn't see scars as badges of honour but rather as proof of his past failure.

Karin noticed her reaction and gave her a small smile, "Luckily that was the worst injury he took, that and a hit to the head, though I can't really check that until he's awake. I don't think it's too serious, though if he wasn't a shinigami I don't know whether he would have survived. It's amazing how much of a beating you guys can take!"

"Hehe, thanks." Matsumoto smiled across at the younger woman before realizing something with a start. "Oh, by the way, I'm Rangiku Matsumoto, lieutenant of the tenth division of shinigami." She said cheerily with a wave.

"Oh, I'm Karin Kurosaki. Pleased to meet you." Karin answered with a smile, "Well, I think we're just about done here, do you want a cup of tea whilst we wait for him to wake up?"

"Oh, yes please, that would be great!" They moved through to the kitchen where Karin set about making the tea. Matsumoto watched her moving around the room, each step was like part of a well-choreographed dance as they seemed to flow together into one long movement.

"So, where did you learn to fight?" Matsumoto asked sweetly as the younger girl came to sit across from her at the table, sliding a cup across to her.

"How did you know I can fight?"

"It's obvious from the way you move." She answered sagely with a nod. Karin raised a sceptical eyebrow at her answer. "Okay, okay. I saw your sword."

"Yeah, I thought it was probably something like that. Urahara's been teaching me with the sword for the last four years, but I've been doing martial arts for most of my life." She took a sip of her drink before smiling at the older woman. "There was something I wanted to ask you. Do you mind?"

"No, what's up?" Matsumoto asked, intrigued.

"Well, when I found him he was still in his gigai, and he was fighting a hollow he could have beaten really easily if he'd had Hyōrinmaru with him." She looked down, hiding the worry in her eyes. "I know you said he's been taking a lot of risks lately, but surely he wouldn't have…"

Matsumoto sighed, "No he wouldn't risk his position like that. I don't know why he wasn't fighting in his shinigami form, but I think he said something about Urahara developing a new prototype gigai he wanted him to try out. Maybe something went wrong with that?"

"Hmm, maybe; I didn't get a chance to ask him when I found him, he was in a pretty bad way and I just wanted to get him out of the rain." They heard movement from the other room and looked up, "I guess he must be waking up, you should probably be there…" Karin went to stand up but was pulled back into her seat and set upon by Matsumoto's steely glare.

"Look, I know you don't want to talk about it right now, but you really need to think through what you're going to say when you speak to him. And you do both need to talk this through, together. The captain has definitely changed, the old him would never take risks like he does now and it really does worry me. And, from what your brother's told me about you, it seems as though you've changed as well." She smiled slightly, averting her eyes as she continued. "And please, at least let him explain why he left."

"Why should I?" Karin asked stubbornly, crossing her arms across her chest. "He left with no explanation, no goodbye, not even a note!" Her voice had risen, emotions she'd though she'd buried years ago came flying back to the front of her mind.

"Because, you didn't see him when he got back to soul society." Matsumoto said quietly, but it was like she was shouting it into Karin's ear. She didn't want to hear this but she couldn't push herself to leave. "He was broken; when he came back from speaking with the captain commander he told me that he wasn't allowed to see you ever again."

"He was going to come back and see me…?" Karin whispered disbelievingly.

"Yeah, he was going to leave for a few months and then come back once he had sorted everything in soul society out. But the commander refused to give him breaks between missions, and sent him to places as far away from Karakura town as possible. He was obviously trying to keep him away from you." She watched Karin's blank expression for a moment before carrying on. "I don't know why he suddenly decided to place us in Karakura town, perhaps he thinks the captain has matured out of what he thinks is just a little crush between children. But I can tell it's more than that. I could tell straight away that he truly loved you, and he still does even if he doesn't admit it."

She smiled knowingly at the black-haired girl, before reaching forward to wipe a stray tear away from her cheek. "And from the look in your eyes, you feel the same way about him."

They sat like that for some time, Matsumoto letting the silence stretch out as she allowed
Karin some time to think it over.

"Well, I'm gonna go see him. You come in if you want to talk to him and I'll give you some time alone." The red-head stood and left the room, leaving Karin still staring into her cup, dazed.

*Is that really how I feel about him? All this time I thought I was just angry at him for leaving but now that I think back… yes, I wasn't angry when I found him, just relieved that he was safe.* Karin sighed, this was all too much for her. *Perhaps she's right… I should go and talk to him, right now.* And yet she sat there for another ten minutes, thinking carefully through what she would say to him when she finally worked up the courage to walk through to the other room and speak to the man she loved.

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Matsumoto smiled at Karin when she entered the room, watching the black haired girl nervously shifting in the doorway. Her captain beside her had gone completely still at the sight of the young woman. She sighed; it looked like they would need a little push in the right direction to get them talking again. Standing up she moved to stand beside Karin, grinning down at her evilly before pushing her into the room and slamming the door shut, she sat against it solid wood and smiled. She wasn't going to let them out of there until they talked, or one of them killed the other, although the first option would be preferable.

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Karin sighed, looking at the shut door, "Well, that's definitely one hell of a lieutenant you've got there…"

"You can say that again…" Their eyes met across the room and they quickly averted their faces, Karin suddenly finding the pattern on her sleeve fascinating as Toushiro's fingers worked nervously at the sheets. He didn't know how to start this conversation, whether to jump right in and say it or to speak as though nothing ever happened. No that'd probably make her angry. Perhaps if he…

"So, how are you feeling?" Karin's voice interrupted his inner-ramble as he watched her walk towards him, he suddenly felt trapped.

"Okay, I guess, sort of like I just got run over by a hollow…"

"Well, you kind of did…"

Silence was back again, awkward as she sat in Matsumoto's vacated seat.

"Karin…" He started as she looked up, her eyes expectant. His voice almost froze in his throat at the sight of those clear brown eyes focused on him once again but he forced his way through it. "Karin, I'm sorry, for leaving and for not telling you anything. It's just that I thought it was for the best and I didn't want you to get hurt… I'm so sorry, please forgive me." The words seemed to just fall out of his mouth, and something about the fact that she was the only person in the world who could make him so tongue-tied made him stupidly happy.

He waited silently for her reply and got a shock when he felt a hand smack him across the face.

Karin watched her hand, not quite believing that she had just done what she'd done but not regretting it. Suddenly all the well thought out words from before weren't an option anymore, because their relationship had never been about words, it had always been about giving the other person comfort. And right now the man before her needed comfort more than he ever had before.

"That was for leaving." She said quietly before placing her hand back on his face, he flinched slightly, wary of receiving another slap.

She leaned forwards and pressed her lips to his, promising him the comfort and human support he needed right now. When she pulled back he looked up at her questioningly, his lips slightly parted as though he was about to ask her something.

"That was for coming back." She said with a small smile, before reaching down and twining their fingers together tightly.